Obama: I like Coke
Fox News: Obama Declares War on Pepsi
do you ever just sit there with your hand on your boob is this what girls do yup
Mirror: you look cute today
Camera: lol no
Instagram filters: I got you
bepeu: what i learned in high school you can pass some classes by being friends with the teacher there is more than one kind of cool if you write just random things on some homework then you may still get some point but the teacher will pull you aside because she is worried about you not all food is edible who cares
When you feel like everyone Is against you
watchtheskytonight: diannaluvslea: sillylittleshoteka: spontaneousfangasm: sovietkittens: if you go to hell for being bad why wouldn’t satan reward you for it why does he make you suffer wtf id be like hell yeah motherfucker you my nigga lets party i started to laugh and then i realized that this is actually a really valid question Alternatively, if Satan punishes sinners, why isn’t...
satans-fabulous-blog: morphingly: brightredkettle: are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
Television: In the criminal justice system--
Me: SEXUALLY-BASED OFFENSES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS FELONIES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. DUN DUN.
weepingfandom: theangelgabrieldidmyhair: The Yahoo people actually coming to look at the site they want to buy best post about the yahoo buyout
dammit-barton: flylikeabowtie: sweetmotherofhandgrenades: yumatsukomo: twinkle twinkle little star why is art so fuCKING HARD #up above the world so high#i cant draw the OTHER EYE twinkle twinkle little FUCK dammit what the- I give up. This is my anthem